I have never had a client come into my office who could not think. But plenty of people have trouble feeling something, especially letting themselves stay with their feelings. We call it talk therapy, but is talking the only thing that’s helpful? Would a long silence be a waste of time? What’s a client supposed to do in the session, to get the most of it?
Of course it depends on the person and what they’re dealing with. Talking ABOUT what you think and feel is a vital part of therapy for everyone. But therapy is also a place just to notice how you feel in the moment and feel some of it in silence, without having to apologize or explain or figure anything out. If a client of mine goes silent as they start to experience a feeling, I don’t start asking twenty questions about what’s happening for them. I let them be the first one to start talking again. Usually the moment lasts for less than I think would be beneficial. I suppose it’s not normal in our society to just feel something in the presence of another person without apologizing and explaining what’s going on. But therapy’s not normal, right?
The heart of the point I’m trying to make is: In therapy it’s good to use our analytical skills to help us understand things and learn. But silently being with yourself with an attitude of curiosity and compassion, in the presence of your therapist who is offering you the same thing, is an equally valid way to investigate, to understand, apart from conscious analysis—and it’s the way that most people do not utilize as fully as the other.
So, in your next session, consider pushing yourself a bit and use some of the time to witness yourself in silence (what you’re feeling, what you want to say, how your body is feeling, etc.), and to delay the compulsion to plunge ahead into thinking and talking. It may make your thinking and talking more informed, more deeply connected, for one thing.