I think being a good therapist is mainly about the quality of presence we offer clients. How well do I attend to my clients’ words, feelings, body language and non-verbals, strengths, weaknesses, needs, understandings, omissions? Do I offer genuine warmth and curiosity? Are silences allowed? Is the deep encouraged to come to the surface if ready—by them, by me?
Attention and caring presence are not enough, though. A therapist may also need to educate, give feedback, interpret, discern, warn, challenge, coach, guide. But too much of this during a session risks veering away from the heart of therapy, which is the therapist listening to and following the client, not the other way around.
That’s why I’m writing this recovery blog. I want to explore ideas that are foundational to all types of recovery, in greater depth than is usually helpful in a therapy session. Reading a therapist’s writing is not anything like being in therapy, but I hope this blog might supplement therapy for my current clients, and give prospective clients a way to decide if I’m a good fit for them.